How many of us have heard someone confidently proclaim that “they don’t need money to be happy?” My bet is that 9 out of 10 of these people are young, single, healthy, and have not started a family. I am definitely guilty of this mindset in my younger days.
To some degree, this statement holds a truth that I do not ever want to feel like I am sacrificing my happiness, ethics, or relationships in exchange for massive fortunes only gained by blind greed. However, as I’ve gotten older my relationship with money has evolved dramatically.
Being raised in the South, women were never expected to learn about finances because it’s a “boring man job”. (NO! It’s an everyone job). I was never taught what it means to really manage my money, and that led to me scoffing at people who obsessed over money all the time. The perception that those who chase fortunes are evil or empty people is simply not true and a completely naive way of looking at the world.
The fact is, money touches anything and everything in your life and it’s important to nurture a healthy relationship with money management early on so you feel in control.
Evolving My Money Management Perspective
These are some of the most dramatic ways I’ve changed my view on money over the last few decades, and I fully expect this to continue to change.
1. Financial jargon went from hieroglyphics to navigable.
Financial news shows always felt like I was listening to a foreign language, and I found it ungodly frustrating to know that these (seemingly all old white men) spoke in a language that I never felt privy to because I was a woman.
That said, we are so fortunate to live in this day and age when information is accessible if you take the time to look for it. My 2018 New Year’s resolution was to start doing personal research and start learning about this world, and 2 years later, I can confidently say that I’ve made tremendous progress. If I can go from knowing what felt like literally nothing, anyone can do it.
2. Money management went from daunting to controllable.
Everyone else seemed to know how you “make your money work for you.” I had no clue what this meant, how to do anything, and investments felt like gambling if I didn’t know what I was doing.
How do you even think about building a financial plan? There are so many options. What are the implications of each and all the options? How do I think about what’s most important for my goals?
Overwhelming doesn’t even begin to cover it, but that feeling primarily came from not having the proper education to make my personal decisions. It will be an ongoing journey to learn, but I now have a plan that I feel confident in and I know that I am capable of my ability to learn about new tools.
3. Money went from stress-inducing to manageable.
I hated opening my bank account. To the point where I would go for weeks without opening my bank account and just hope and pray that the bank gods wouldn’t hit me with an overdraft fee. It was stressful, I felt ashamed, and that number was what held me back from living the life that I wanted to live.
At the end of the day, the only way to be financially set is to spend less than what you earn. Period. That’s the secret. The way I look at it is that I know how much I bring in, and everything else is up to me to control how much I spend, which includes saying no to happy hours, moving to a cheaper apartment, and look to save everywhere. It will feel hard, but it’s achievable.
4. From discomfort with being a “money” person, to finding confidence with the idea.
Southern culture skews towards men managing family finances and I never grew up with the idea that I should focus on money. I’ve come to deeply appreciate that everyone who participates in our society (everyone) should focus on understanding money management.
Learn to develop new skills at work that will increase your earning potential in the long run, learn how to manage a budget, find peace knowing that this will be a long, ongoing journey where you will constantly be learning, and feel confident knowing that you can do it.
5. Money is simply a vessel that is a means to an end.
I used to seek money for the sake of money. Over the years, I’ve adjusted my mentality to focus on what kind of life I want to build for myself and then work backward to create a plan to achieve those goals. By focusing on the goals and outcomes as opposed to a dollar amount, I really feel like I’m achieving something worthwhile.
I now see money as a way to not be a burden to my family when shit gets real. If I end up in the hospital (again), I can get the treatment I need. If my family hits hard times, I can help those I love. I can give my future family a comfortable and satisfying life. I can say no to the toxic relationships, either personal or professional.
6. Having money has become a security blanket, but I know it does not solve all of my problems.
Instagram and other social media platforms are incredible at making you feel inadequate and that you are not living your best life. FOMO is one of the most dangerous things to your bank account because that emotion will run you dry before you even realize it.
Money management feels like it’s the one thing that is holding you back from living your best life, but do you want to know the secret? Those massive trips and beautiful photos do not actually bring you happiness to your life.
Having money is helpful, but it will not solve your personal and emotional holes. It’s extremely important, no matter how much money you make, to put your mental health first. For me, this means exercising, journaling, and spending time with loved ones to help me keep my emotional tank full.
7. It’s a continuous learning journey, but it shouldn’t be scary to talk about.
My hope and dream are that our SLIGHTLY EDUCATIONAL blog will continue to inspire people who don’t consider themselves great with money to know that they can achieve their goals, build a comfortable life, and find peace with their finances.
Check out additional topics to make personal finance SLIGHTLY EDUCATIONAL on our Personal Finance page.
