So, you’re thinking about taking your relationship to the next level with a marriage proposal to the love of your life? Movies create the idea that the man finds the perfect ring, pops the question, and the woman makes one of the biggest life-changing decisions in less time than it takes to decide what cocktail you want during happy hour.
Bravo to all who have pulled off this incredible scene with success, but let’s get real, this is a huge decision and the ring itself is a major financial commitment.
We approached things quite differently, and these are the 5 things I appreciated the most.
5 Steps To A Successful Marriage Proposal
1. Getting engaged wasn’t a surprise
This might be a controversial statement, but this is one of the biggest decisions in your life and it shouldn’t be a surprise, quick decision. You are legally committing yourself to someone for the rest of your life and you should feel comfortable having conversations about marriage before making this decision.
There’s really awkward pressure on men because of the expectation to make the proposal a surprise without being able to confirm she is on the same page and to make a ring selection solo.
During our anniversary dinner, my now-fiance gently brought up the topic of whether I have a secret wedding Pinterest board, which opened up the conversation about marriage as a next step.
2. Set mutual expectations
Men in movies always have huge, sparkly, perfect rings for this moment. In reality, when it comes to picking the ring…there are SO many options, to the point where it’s incredibly overwhelming.
Adding to the mix, this is a huge financial commitment, so if he doesn’t know EXACTLY what you want to be wearing on your finger for the rest of your life, he might spend too much money to get something you’re not thrilled with…bummer.
Likewise, ladies, let’s not set our hopes on a 4-carat diamond. He has a budget and we have to respect that budget. You can always upgrade the carat size on your 10 or 15 year anniversary as an exciting milestone (and start saving now).
3. Get educated together
We did a TON of research together about the 4Ks, settings, creating a ring from scratch, lab vs. natural, etc. He shared a realistic budget and I shared what I loved aesthetically, so we were able to start narrowing in on the best type of rings to explore.
There are trade-offs between all of the elements above as they relate to cost, and we talked at length about lab vs. natural, color, karat, and setting styles.
4. Try rings on together
We went to many, many jewelry stores together and tried on SO many rings. I highly recommend stopping by Brilliant Earth for an incredibly helpful educational session if there’s a store near you. Utilizing their 50-minute, free educational sessions, really helped us get a better understanding of what type of ring I was looking for.
And try on everything in sight! Keep an open mind (and pack snacks in case your man’s blood sugar get’s low during all this shopping) and you’ll eventually figure out what you like (if you don’t know already).
He is not the type of guy who loves shopping, so it meant the world to me that he showed so much attention to detail and enthusiasm to find something I would be proud to wear the rest of my life.
5. Make it a surprise
Hold up…you said it wasn’t a surprise?
Yes and no. The mutual decision that we wanted to marry each other was not a surprise, but the marriage proposal itself was an incredible surprise.
Once the ring was picked out, the rest was up to him (and he pulled it off flawlessly) to still have our movie-worthy moment.
At the end of the day, picking out a ring is incredibly personal to each and every couple, but don’t let the societal expectations dictate how you approach having conversations about marriage and ring expectations.
Keep following us on our wedding journey as we share our tips, tricks, and challenges at our Getting Married page.
